THE DEVIL’S DUE TO OFFER REAL OPTIONS AT PHONY REALOPTIONS CLINICS

RealOptions clinics, which maintain multiple locations in the South Bay and East Bay, claim that they “provide preventive reproductive health care,” which to the unwary probably sounds like an offer of abortion services–after all, not much healthcare prevents reproduction more effectively than that.

In reality, RealOptions sites exist to stymy the real options for people seeking help with unwanted pregnancies. San Jose Inside reported in 2018 what was obvious to canny observers all along, that RealOptions’ was “created to convince expectant mothers not to have abortions,” a product of fundy finagling.

The ambiguous language is of course intentional, the better to potentially snare patients into an unwanted sermon at a vulnerable moment. However, according to the Missouri-based Ordo Sororitatis Satanicae, many enter such establishments not out of a desire to be preached but simply to access free pregnancy testing.

In response, OSS members will often vend such supplies outside of faux pregnancy centers, to potentially spare clinic-goers the nonsense inside, and they were even generous enough to share their training kit and action plan for such demonstrations.

On March 8–a date chose to coincide with International Women’s Day, although of course it’s not only women who need access to safe and healthy abortion services sometimes–a crowd of a dozen Bay Area Satanists set up shop across the street from a RealOptions clinic in San Jose, with not only free pregnancy tests but also contraception and safer sex supplies for the public.

Our own Hannah Hellcat organized the gathering and procured supply donations via an Amazon Wishlist which Bay Area Satanists and listeners of our Black Mass Appeal podcast alike contributed to. Signage in both English and Spanish let passers-by know who we were and what was on offer.

East San Jose can be a slightly more conservative environment than much of the rest of the Bay Area, and some drivers with prominent rosaries dangling from their rearview mirrors expressed surprise, confusion, or anger at our presence.

But even more people showed audible appreciation for our presence and message. And in a moment that will warm the depths of our Hell-scorched hearts for years, one young person even spontaneously joined us after a quick trip to the store for sign-making supplies and candy to pass out to the public.

April was a teenager who attended the nearby high school. Ordinarily we have strict rules that Satanic Bay Area events are for people eighteen up and only, for reasons of both personal philosophy and legal liability. In this case, however, it just didn’t seem smart to quash her enterprising spirit after she went through so much trouble to support us, so for one day only we permitted her to fall in with a bad crowd.

There are, sadly, plenty of other faux clinic sites around the Bay Area, and plenty of days when we won’t be there to provide an adversarial perspective on their doings. (Unlike fundies, we have lives.) But like with the old Forbidden Fruit story, sometimes one small act of defiance can make more difference in the long run than you expect.

Besides, we’ll be back.