SATANIC ILLUMINATI DOUBLE AGENT BILLY GRAHAM DIES AT 99 (AND OTHER NEWS)
Fundy superstar Billy Graham died this week, and Satanic New World Order agents are beside ourselves with grief. Or so the Internet tells me
Yes, the echo of Graham’s final homophobic slur didn’t even have time to fade before conspiracy assholes ran to keyboards and declared that Graham had been “a Satanist” all along.
This despite the fact that Billy Graham worked for 70 years to give America a Jesus enema. Short of rising again in three days, there’s not much more the guy could do to play to the Bible belt.
But that’s what believing in devils does to you: Sooner or later, anyone who isn’t you starts to look like the devil–or his keeper.
“Jesus fucking Christ I hope none of these people noticed my fly down.”
“He preached to hundreds of millions of people around the world,” the BBC wrote of the now-toasted Graham hours after his death. “Graham reached millions through TV, the first to convey the Christian message on such a scale.”
The Yule Log reaches millions through TV too, of course, and I’d much rather watch that.
Graham’s legacy gets kid glove treatment because of his polite public persona and the fact that he managed not to be a racist in the ’60s. But his dedicated decades of homophobia don’t wash with me.
He was a rampant anti-Semite too. During the Nixon years, Tricky Dick got Graham on tape complaining about evil Jews right there in the Oval Office. Caught out decades later, he claimed he “could not recall saying these things.” I’ll bet.
So I say fuck Billy Graham and the discourse he rode in on. But when I look at what conspiracy assholes are saying about him, even I pause.
“He sold out to the Satanic forces,” oddly euphoric YouTube douche Sonny Cardona said after Graham’s death. “Anybody seen in front of the TV is part of the Illuminati agenda.”
Really, anybody? Imagine Mr T as an Illuminati agent. Why hasn’t anyone made THAT show?
A nonsensical “Illuminati confession” making the rounds claims, “I personally saw Billy Graham in Moscow one winter dressed entirely in Satanic attire.”
What is “Satanic attire,” do you think? Whatever it is it had better be pretty fucking warm for Moscow, I guess.
On the other hand, Infowars, the electronic airbase from which America’s delusions take wing, ran a sedate Fox News obit of Graham. But the comment section brimmed with paranoia anyway.
My favorite is this guy who reads like a malfunctioning Twitter bot:
This is weird. But what you’re about to read next is weirder.
“MK Ultra mind-controlled slave of the synagogue of Satan. Graham funded by the Rockefeller demons had no qualms with Satanist G.H.W. Bush and the Lincoln Nebraska boy’s town pedophiles! Swaggart, Schuller, Jim and Tammy, Paul and Jan Crouch all doing the devil’s work to sway people from Christ! Disgusting hypocrites if the 33rd degree also would never expose evil Satanist pedophiles Hillary’s emails!”
Anyone playing Batshit Bingo just hit every square.
As a public figure, it’s natural that some people didn’t like Billy Graham. Example: me. But it’s not enough for Anti-Satanists to just dislike him or disagree with his religious opinions. They have to turn him into Satan himself.
It seems that in their minds, no middle ground between these points even exists. And that kind of extremism indicates social strain. “Stories of Satan proliferate in troubled times, especially within radical groups” Yale Professor Elaine Pagels writes in The Origin of Satan.
People who are frightened of Satanists may call us extremists, but I see Anti-Satanists holding the truly extreme positions. Satanism, by contrast, depends on the kind of nuance that fundies can’t muster.
Billy Graham was a bigot and a fool. But I can’t call him pure evil; that would just undermine the severity of his real misdeeds, as if they’re not enough to condemn on their own.
We have to be smart enough to take the world on as it really is. Deferring to zeal and wrath is fun, but you can end up fighting against phantoms you’ve created yourself, just like the conspiracy kooks sticking it to “Satanist” Billy Graham.
And of course, Graham himself helped create the toxic evangelical culture now picking his bones. What kind of flaming shit show those people will in turn create for future generations Ba’al only knows.
“I know how this looks, but most of the time I’m a very reasonable and compromising kind of guy.”
My name is Mr.JOHN, I am 33 years old and I based in Canada. I want to
notify the general public how I was helped by Illuminati temple in
regaining back my business position after been sacked for about a year and
six months. I have been in pains and trouble since when I was sacked from
the company where I work called Canada Deposit Insurance corporation in
Ottawa (headquarter) in Canada as an agency executive. I have been
hopeless, financially down through out that year. But one day as I was
browsing through the Internet I came across the post of Mr. John an
Illuminati agent saying you can be famous, rich and successful in life by
been a member of the great Illuminati Brotherhood, immediately I contacted
him and I explained everything to him and he recommended me and he helped
me by initiating me to the Great Illuminati Brotherhood and also he gave me
all the guidelines and told me their place of worship. With the help of Mr.
John I was able to go to the temple and there I was initiated fully as a
complete Illuminati member. Surprisingly 40 hours after I was initiated, I
receive a call from the company that I have been accepted back again as the
agency executive of the company at first I was shocked and surprised but
latter regain myself, I was told to resume work the next day by 7:00am.
Starting from that day I and my family had been living a joyful and a
luxurious life. So viewers who are interested in becoming a member of the
Illuminati Brotherhood and also wants to be famous, rich, wealthy and gain
power should peacefully contact Mr. John on his email address on (EDIT: Nope!) Be a member
of the great Illuminati Brotherhood and achieve all your heart desire and
accomplish your dreams. Thanks to the Great Illuminati Brotherhood..
HOW ILLUMINATI BROTHERHOOD MADE ME SUCCESSFUL AND FAMOUS.
I give thanks to the great illuminati brotherhood, who make me successful and famous, the mission of the illuminati brotherhood is to wipe away suffering and hardship from everyone life, i am happy that i joined the illuminati brotherhood, i can see my life is changed for good i enjoy good things in life, hails to the illuminati brother, story of my life i have worked so hard to make it in life, i have done so many things in life, just to make it and live a happy life with my family, i do not know what to do next i was just thinking about my life, i see people around me getting rich but to me, i get poor everyday of my life, i start to think of what to do next just to get rich and live a good life, one day i think of going for research in google, and i say how many people giving testimony on how the illuminati brotherhood helped then to get rich and famous, i think over it though out the day so the next day i looked up and i make up my mind to join the illuminati brotherhood, to my own believe i see my life changed for good, i was given amount of $2,000,000.00 USD to start a new life, i am so proud of myself and i am a great man today, because of the illuminati brotherhood, if you are a business man/woman, an artist, a pastor, a working class, student and you want wealth,fame,protection,long life, prosperity just name it, the illuminati brotherhood is ready to help you achieve your dreams, if you live in America it is free to join the illuminati brotherhood, to join the illuminati brotherhood email: join the illuminati brotherhood and become successful in life.
BEWARE OF SCAMMERS.
Random: when you think of Satan is he/she hooved or beautiful? I always have believed that he was beautiful but not overly so. ^_^
HOW THE ILLUMINATI BROTHERHOOD HELPED ME BECOME SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE.
How i become successful in life, I am so grateful today is because of the illuminati brotherhood. the Illuminati brotherhood continues to change my life day by day, hails to the illuminati brother, i was deeply strangled up by poverty and i had no body to help me, and also i search for help from different corners but to no available, i have worked so hard to make it in life, i have done so many things in life, just to make it and live a happy life with my family, i do not know what to do next i was just thinking about my life, i see people around me getting rich but to me, i get poor everyday of my life, i start to think of what to do next just to get rich and live a good life, one day i think of going for research in google, and i say how many people giving testimony on how the illuminati brotherhood helped then to get rich and famous, so i think of joining the illuminati brother so that i can also get rich and be famous in life, because i have go through pains in life, so i make up my mind and decide to join the illuminati brotherhood, to my own believe i see my life changed for good, i was given amount of $2,000,000.00 USD to start a new life, i am so proud of myself and i am a great man today, because of the illuminati brotherhood, the mission of the illuminati brotherhood is to wipe away suffering and hardship away from everyone life. so if you are a business man/woman, an artist, a pastor, a working class, student and you want wealth,fame,protection,long life, prosperity just name it, the illuminati brotherhood is ready to help you achieve your dreams, if you live in America it is free to join the illuminati brotherhood, you have to email: [EDIT: NOPE!] on how to join the illuminati brotherhood, join and see changes in your life.
It’s well-known fact that Illuminati consists of Multi Millionaires, Billionaires who have major influence regarding most global affairs, including the planning of a New World Order. Many world leaders, Presidents, Prime Ministers, royalty and senior executives, Musician, actors, and actress, of major Fortune 500 companies are members of the Illuminati. become one of the elite cabals of mysterious forces and let’s take over the world and become wealthy with boundless measures of riches in your organization, business, Illuminati contact via email: (NOPE!) join us to take over the world…
It is a well-known fact that Illuminati consist of Multi Millionaires,
Billionaires who have major influence regarding most global affairs,
including the planning of a New World Order. Many world leaders,
Presidents, Prime Ministers, royalty and senior executives of major Fortune
500 companies are members of Illuminati. join a secret cabal of mysterious
forces and become rich with boundless measures of wealth in your company or
any given business, the great Illuminati can make everything possible just
contact : SPAM@gmail.com or WhatsApp +1 SPAM EL
IAI LEXION Thaddeus Iam Vice-President of Citizen Outreach THE ILLUMINATI
ORGANIZATION
Do not hesitate to contact us by WhatsApp.
BEWARE OF SCAMMERS, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS REGISTRATION FEE AND YOU MUST
BE ABOVE THE AGE OF 18YRS.
THANKS…,,..//
Satan is known as the father of lies. Thus his children wouldn’t have a problem lying.
Would anyone dare to tell the truth?
Was Graham an illuminati, satanist?
Short answer: No.
Longer answer: No, dingus.
It means accepting the sacrifice of the Christ on the cross. Almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission.
The blood of Jesus cleanses, but it’s really not a hygienic cleanse. Cuz, ya know, blood…
Sorry, washing yourself in someone else’s blood needs a HAZMAT response