American TFP (it stands for “tradition, family, & property,” because of course it fucking does), a Catholic hate group for “anti-Communist” kooks, took time off from monitoring the neighbors for subversive activity with binoculars to go fist-bump bros over transphobia in Washington DC last week instead.

According to Right Wing Watch, American TFP spent the annual “Road To Majority Conference”—which is like a yearly Leni Riefenstahl shoot for fundies, but with worse cinematography—handing out leaflets explaining  “Transgenderism Is the Family’s Worst Enemy.”

I always thought the family’s worst enemy was recessive genes, but what do I know?

In any case, American TFP is the same group that assembled to furiously pray at the Satanic Temple Santa Cruz’s (then TST San Jose) Christmas tree in January and then throw holy water at me. So I took a particular interest in their hapless hate speech this time.

Surprise surprise, I find American TFP’s ten reasons rather lacking in reason. Let’s take it from the top.


American tfp trans satan

Taking things from the top being something of a leitmotif around here.


Number one: “Transgenderism is tyrannical.” Oh good, we’ve got a live one.

In one fell swoop the federal government imposed transgender bathrooms on all schools,” American TFP gripes, somehow still whining about an Obama White House executive order from 2016.

Except it wasn’t “one fell swoop” but rather just an application of Title IX, a law that’s more than 45 years old. And what the order actually said was, “no students would be asked to ‘prove’ or otherwise document their gender identity.”

Because how would they even do that? I know you’re Catholics and always curious what’s going on in kids’ pants, but don’t be so obvious.

Number two: “It fuels child abuse.” Pretty sure they’re thinking of whiskey, but go on.

American TFP cites the very official sounding American College of Pediatricians, which claims “impersonation of the opposite sex is child abuse.”

I admit to getting a little confused when Bugs Bunny wore a dress, but childhood is weird for everyone.

The catch, of course, is that the American College of Pediatricians is not a medical authority. It’s just another right-wing political group with a fancy name. Guess a real source like the AMA wouldn’t return their calls about this. Wonder why.

Number three: “Gender ideology contradicts basic biology.” Okay, everybody go ahead and check off that free space on your Batshit Bingo cards.

Note that TFP is actually just recycling the same ACP talking points from the previous item for this one. So, trying to press two stupid non-arguments out of one fallacious source. It’s not loaves and fishes, but anything for a cheap miracle.

Number four: “Biological sex cannot change.” As far as I know this is true, provided you’re not a velociraptor from Jurassic Park. But since nobody ever claimed otherwise I’m not sure why they bought it up?

Number five: “It warps manhood and womanhood.” So does bending over too far during certain sex positions, but you don’t hear us complaining.

The gripe here is that supposedly “transgender ideology claims that biological reality does not determine one’s sex—feelings do.” Stick a pin in that one, we’re coming back to it later.

Number six: American TFP claims “the primary purpose of human sexuality is procreation. However, transgenderism [denies] this principle.”

Hey, get a load of the squares who don’t know that transgender people can have kids. And when they do, American TFP are the first to freak out about it. So which is it folks?


American TFP trans satan

Trans parents’ kids are delivered by Leviathan instead of the stork, but otherwise it’s the same.


Number seven: “It’s self-destructive.” Here American TFP actually summoned up a real source, the Williams Institute, which does indeed report:

“The prevalence of suicide attempts among [transgender respondents] is 41 percent.”

But of course, the loathsome leaflet doesn’t bother to report what its own source cites as the reason for that:

“Mental health factors and experiences of harassment, discrimination, violence and rejection may interact to produce a marked vulnerability to suicidal behavior in transgender and gender non-conforming individuals.”

So, it’s not “transgender ideology” that leads to “self-destructiveness,” it’s transphobia. Again, this is their own source saying this, I didn’t even have to do anything.

Number eight: It leads to Furries.

No, really, this is on the list: “If a man can pretend to be a woman, why can’t he also claim to be non-human? Such a relativistic conclusion is regretfully here: furries or otherkins.”

Yeah I don’t really know what they’re driving at here either, but I want to hear Catholic opinions about Furries as much as I want a blood of saints enema, so let’s move on.

Number nine: “It leads to religious persecution.” According to American TFP, “those who cheer the homosexual movement are de facto servants of a new religion.”

Actually this one is true, it’s called Satanism and it’s really done wonders for me personally, have you heard of it?

And finally, number ten. This is the big one: “It offends god.” 

Well fucking of course.

“To intentionally contradict biological nature is an act of revolt against our creator,” the puerile pamphlet concludes.

Our revolting creator aside, you’ll notice the sleight of slights American TFP tries to pull here. Previously, these bumbling bumpkins complained about everyone else’s “feelings.” But when it all boils down to their feelings in the end—or their “god’s”—suddenly the choir switches tunes.

So other than having way too much time on their hands, why does American TFP put so much effort into shitty non-arguments about the “dangers” of trans people?

Simple: There are no real dangers. They have to pretend the sky is falling because otherwise there’s just nothing to complain about. And consequently, nothing to persecute anyone over.

And where would their donation dollars go then?


American tfp trans satan

The End is always just around the corner, but how long does a corner get before it’s a straightaway?