Earlier this week, bastard Neo Nazi devil worship cult “Joy of Satan” reported that its main site had vanished from the Internet, thus inciting actual joy for the first time.

Probably few people will notice that Joy of Satan is gone. Few people ever noticed they were there to begin with. Most Satanists only know enough about Joy of Satan to decry their white supremacist stupefactions, if anything at all.

Possibly the only thing really worth noting about Joy of Satan–other than some suitably German-tinged schadenfreude at their troubles–is how closely they end up resembling the freak fringe of the same mainstream religions they condemn.

As it turns out, a conspiracy asshole by any other name smells of the same BS.


“My opinions are as valid as the next man’s”


Founded as an Angelfire site (lol)  in 2002, Joy of Satan presents a mostly harmless (if bizarre) public face to the world. Calling themselves “spiritual Satanists,” Lovejoys claim that Satan is the “creator god of humanity,” that the Abrahamic deity is a false god, and that “Satanism predates all other religions.”

In the version of history hallucinated by the Joy Fuck Club, Satanic paganism once reigned in peace, only to be stamped out by Christian priests “to remove spiritual and occult knowledge from the populace” and place it in the hands of a few elites.

This is all weird. Also, stupid. But again, seemingly harmless. The “ministry” maintains a parade of outdated, year 2000-grade sites on a variety of silly topics, and their never-updated YouTube channel is full of lectures about “Demons & Psychic Power” and such.

One look at the cult forums, however, reveals their actual agenda: swastika flag avatars and dewey portraits of Hitler everywhere, constant refrains of “Heil Satan,” and shadowy references to war with Jewish people, “parasites,” and for some reason reptilians.”

In fact, in 2006 the Southern Poverty Law Center reported that Joy’s “High Priestess” Maxine Dietrick is married to National Socialist Movement Chairman Clifford Herrington. Where do you think they registered for that wedding, the commissary at San Quentin?

When announcing the loss of Joy of Satan’s main site, Dietrick–real name Andrea Herrington–swiftly declared that “the Jews” were behind the removal and muttered the moldy canard about “Jews running the media.”

Herrington’s Nazi punks swiftly fucked off–which is to say sounded off–with pearls like, “The Jews are exposed in all the Internet right now,” [sic] and “Jews have an alien astrological system tied into their Torah.” 

Apparently syntax is not their strong suit. Said suit probably being an orange jumpsuit anyway.

For the record, I’m unclear why the Joy of Satan site actually got flushed. Most likely someone just forgot to pay the bill, or maybe mailed in a check with “YOU WILL NOT REPLACE US!” scribbled on it instead of a dollar amount, uncertain why that didn’t work.


“Although this is actually less annoying than that time they thought it was funny to send their payment in antique shekels.”


A few days later Herrington alleged that the site was “back up,” although actually this is just a new page with a new URL.

In a hilarious bit of accidental lucidity during the hubbub this week, one of Herrington’s brownsmears wondered why the supposed Jewish conspiracy couldn’t remove Joy of Satan from Google altogether.

This is actually an excellent question, which of course is why nobody really answered it and why only one Deutsch douche had the temporary wherewithal to even ask.

The answer of course is that, like all conspiracies, Joy of Satan’s gas-huffing version of reality doesn’t really make any sense.

In fact, it’s remarkable how much the sparkless Joy crowd resembles other unhinged harbingers of paranoia, delusion, and confirmation bias like the increasingly rabid Anti-Satanist serial confabulators at #Qanon.

Both parties believe that they’ve been disenfranchised by a faceless power elite. Both believe that a savior figure is always just about to remake the world with sweeping revelations. And of course both broiling in industrial grade anti-semitism and white supremacist twattery.

The Joy subdivision rails against mainstream Christianity at the drop of nothing at all. Whereas most American conspiracists are Protestant putzes through and through.

And yet, scratch off their respective serial numbers and it’s likely nobody would notice the difference.

I’ve argued before that conspiracy theories are essentially religious cults. But the actual religious trappings are mostly cosmetic.

The real religion is always the conspiracy itself: the grievances, the persecution complex, the belief in a hazily defined Golden Age that’s been unjustly stolen from the believers, who of course assume they were born already owed everything and that anything less means that the whole world must be against them.

Maybe it turns out toxic entitlement is the real opiate of the masses. If nothing else, it seems to compliment mass delusion.