Darwin Is Satan (And We’re Okay With That)

WHY ZEALOTS HATE DARWIN AS MUCH AS SATAN   It’s Charles Darwin’s 208th birthday today. And if there’s one name the crazies hate more than Satan, it’s Darwin. When Henry Drummond arrives in town to argue Darwinian theory in Inherit the Wind (a 1955 play about the...

Our Satanic Presidential Roast

SIX REASONS WE’RE BURNING DONALD TRUMP In a few days, we’re gathering in a mildly top secret Bay Area location to burn Donald Trump in effigy. February 1 is Imbolc Night, a date for pagan fire festivals. And it borders on Candlemas, which conspiracy assholes...
Satan Says the Earth Is Round

Satan Says the Earth Is Round

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN FLAT EARTHERS MEET SATAN, AND WHY WE’RE HAPPY ABOUT IT The Flat Earth Society is enjoying a renaissance these days, despite their noted hostility to any form of enlightenment. And yet, it turns out that even people who believe Satan is real and...
Of “Weather Witches” And Stormy Scriptures

Of “Weather Witches” And Stormy Scriptures

DO SATAN AND “WEATHER WITCHES”  MAKE IT RAIN? TURNS OUT THE ANSWER MATTERS   Northern California is bouncing back from a once-in-a-decade storm. Lucky we all made it through okay, since that giant ark building is all the way over in Kentucky. Yes, in...
Texas’ Fetal Mass Grave Law Way Scarier Than Satan

Texas’ Fetal Mass Grave Law Way Scarier Than Satan

WE ARE AGAINST FETAL MASS GRAVES FOR JESUS You could have bet me almost anything that Texas’ proposed fetal burial law couldn’t get any creepier. Even just the phrase “fetal burial law” already pushes a red line I didn’t even know was...
How Satan Saved Christmas

How Satan Saved Christmas

THERE’S NO “WAR ON CHRISTMAS,” YOU JUST GAVE THE FUN STUFF TO THE DEVIL Did you know crazies have been doing the “War on Christmas” thing for more than 500 years? In 1487, two German inquisitors wrote in their witch hunter’s manual: “Bad...