How Satan Saved Christmas

How Satan Saved Christmas

THERE’S NO “WAR ON CHRISTMAS,” YOU JUST GAVE THE FUN STUFF TO THE DEVIL Did you know crazies have been doing the “War on Christmas” thing for more than 500 years? In 1487, two German inquisitors wrote in their witch hunter’s manual: “Bad...
Satan’s Equal Rights

Satan’s Equal Rights

THE DEVIL WAS THE FIRST “PERSON” TO OFFER AMERICANS EQUAL RIGHTS   Back in 1692, during the Essex County witchcraft panic around Salem, Massachusetts, confessed “witches” told their captors that the devil promised them a world of “gallant...
Satan: A Name For What Scares Off Weirdos

Satan: A Name For What Scares Off Weirdos

WHEN A FUNDAMENTALIST CALLS IT SATANIC, YOU KNOW IT’S WORKING RIGHT   It doesn’t take much to be called a Satanist these days. Just run for office, become an atheist, complain about sexual assault, or be gay or trans, and a fundamentalist will dutifully...
Satan: The Best Doctor You Ever Had

Satan: The Best Doctor You Ever Had

MODERN MEDICINE: BECAUSE EVERYONE NEEDS A LITTLE SATANISM IN THEIR LIVES Is anesthesia a tool of Satanist medicine? Depends how many centuries you wait for a second opinion. Although the discovery of basic painkillers and sedatives only barely postdates the swallowing...

Transphobic Kooks Declare “Satan Is Transgender”

ON TRANSGENDER RIGHTS; OR AS SATANISTS CALL THEM, “RIGHTS” Transgender men and women can now serve openly in the US military. (Should they for some reason want to.) To rational people, this is unremarkable news. It’s only strange that a contrary...